Originally, I had planned to write this and publish it on my birthday, which was Sunday, March 1st. However, I completely forgot – which is why I should probably write down my ideas, write out the post, and schedule it.
Since I’m now twenty-two, though it feels like twenty-one and twenty before that, I have decided to scrounge up twenty-two facts about myself. This is extraordinarily difficult, because I am a boring, boring person.
- I am forgetful – this is blatantly obvious when it comes to replying to any form of social media. Maybe you left me a comment on a blog post; maybe you sent me a text message; or you tweeted at me. The problem isn’t YOU, because I don’t hate you, I just… forgot. And by the time I remember, a large amount of time has passed and I feel weird replying to whatever it was you and I were previously discussing. Don’t feel bad!
- I am easily distracted – this easily ties into forgetfulness, but it’s true. No, I don’t have ADHD or ADD. There are either things I’d rather be doing OR there was something interesting, like a noise or a flash of light, than what was happening. I don’t enjoy boring things, which is probably why I hate math.
- I am a Pisces – “whaaaat? I had no idea! Considering you said you were born MARCH 1ST!” you say sarcastically. I am actually very proud of being a Pisces, because it suits me to a T. Creative, daydreams a lot, caring, yes, these things are me.
- I was born 25 days early – that’s right, I was supposed to be an ARIES (no offense to any Aries out there, but I cannot imagine being a ram). Originally, I was to be born on March 26th, but, as my mother likes to say, this was the ‘only time I’ve been early.’
- I believe in astrology and all that jazz – don’t hurt me, as smart as I seem, I apparently am not that smart. Why do I believe in astrology? Well, first off, I am a dork and like mysticism. Secondly, it’s very rare that I find something described as a Pisces or a Rooster or the number 8 that doesn’t match up with my personality.
- I have an aversion towards the sun – it’s not that I personally, reasonably hate the sun. It’s that my skin hates the sun. I either bathe in sunscreen during the summer, or I don’t go outside. In fact, I’m pretty sure I got a minor sunburn Saturday while outside. In February.
- I love animals – if I had my way, I’d probably have a farm. That was a million acres. Just so I could have animals. Domestic ones, exotic ones, but no endangered ones. I cannot have that on my conscious. Though my top three, other than owning dogs and cats, pets I’d love to have are: 1) a Bearded Dragon (the more easily obtainable on this list), 2) a Platypus (please tell me they are not cute), and 3) a Badger (I think it’s because I’m a Hufflepuff).
- Books are my financial downfall – I have issues spending; it’s part of my anxiety. I just start to panic in a store. But when it comes to walking into a bookstore, I don’t panic. I don’t freak out. I just dump entire shelves into my cart. I love books and I have a good twenty or more books I haven’t PICKED UP since I BOUGHT them. I like owning them. I like having the leisure to read them whenever I want. I could have a job that paid me more than $100k a year and probably 99% of it would go towards books alone.
- I have Social Anxiety Disorder – I mean, I’m just an anxious person overall, but put me out in public? It’s panic mode. Fortunately, I’ve been taking meds for about a year now, and I’m lot less high-strung than I was.
- I am pessimistically optimistic – I am a negative person. That’s just how I think. But… I have this problem where I tend to think negatively about something but at the same time be upbeat and excited about it. I haven’t figured it out to the full extent yet.
- I am a proud pansexual – you know that saying that there’s always a gay kid in a group of friends, and if you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you? It has taken me a long time to admit that I was anything other than heterosexual. I finally figured it out a few years ago and I finally realized… I am not solely attracted to men, but I’m also not solely attracted to women. A while back, an extremely close friend of mine realized she was transgender. In an effort to learn more about gender, I stumbled into a world of… well… more than just female and male genders. And upon learning about different genders, I was like “whoa, I’m the type of person who is totally okay being intimate with someone who isn’t strictly cis male or cis female.” Though, I will admit, I have a huge preference for ladies and feminine people.
- Music is an integral part of my being – yeah, yeah, most everyone loves music. Music is part of humanity and its culture. Which is probably part of the reason why I love music so much. I couldn’t play or sing anything, but for the most part, lack of music would make my life a lot harder. It also helps that my dad is huge into music, too – I grew up listening to him play music with his band. It’s important to me on an emotional and spiritual level.
- I’m a crap storyteller – I love writing. I love reading. I love jotting down ideas and being creative. But for the life of me, I cannot tell a story or a joke. It’s awkward. It’s not as funny as I thought it was. I just don’t understand how to tell a story, especially if it actually happened, to someone without feeling like a massive moron.
- I ran over a tree and threw away the evidence – speaking of stories… Once, my dad had a harmonica player in his band. This harmonica player owned a nursery. A NURSERY. With trees and plants and it was his LIVELY HOOD. This harmonica player had two boys, both younger than me, so one of the things they did was ride gocarts around the property. Enter my family; it was a band thing, so family members from all the band members were there. I think my brother, the two boys, and I were the only youngin’s there – any other offspring were older and either stayed home or could drink. So the four of us race around this property and in the back, there’s an area where they were digging stuff up and I think getting ready to expand or something, and there were coniferous saplings lining the edge of this hole. I turned my head around for ONE SECOND, to see where the others were, and BAM. I had driven over a sapling, a nice sized one,and broken it off. I promptly got out, pushed the gocart off the tree, and threw the tree into the pit. Then I drove away and never looked back.
- I am a walking encyclopedia of everything trivial – There are things I don’t even know how I know, but I know it. Like, heeeeey, wanna know where linseed oil comes from? Flax. The answer is flax. Why do I know this? Why is this important? Where did I learn it?
- I am an Agnostic Theist – literally a fancy term for saying “I dunno, there could definitely be a god. I don’t see why not.” I think there’s a higher power, but I don’t find it necessary to worship it or to do anything other then wonder about it.
- I have a love/hate relationship with the ocean – actually, water in general. Part of it’s probably because my swimming skills are extremely rusty, therefore, I don’t like being in water where I can’t touch the bottom. Natural, right? Anyway, I love the ocean. I love the sea. I love being near it and it literally renews my soul. There’s a deep connection to it, however… it’s also one of the scariest things I have ever been privy to. Space? Kinda scary. Billions of light years across, we don’t know what is out there, but the ocean? Oh, motherf*****, hell no are you getting me to go any deeper than my knees. How can we contemplate going into space when we don’t even know what is in the Mariana’s Trench?
- I think space and astronomy are the bee’s knees – seriously, space and stars and planets are super cool! Our universe is so huge, how can I not be impressed by it? We’re a little itty bitty spec in a little itty bitty spec of a galaxy! Wow, it’s overwhelming.
- I have irrational feelings about aliens – speaking of space… ALIENS. Something that bothers me, especially from astronomers and astrophysicists and close-minded people, is the idea that there’s no such thing as aliens. BILLIONS OF LIGHT YEARS ACROSS, PEOPLE, HOW CAN THERE NOT BE INTELLIGENT LIFEFORMS OUT THERE? Part of it, for me, is that humans probably need to think of it this way: lifeforms don’t need to have a perfectly Earth-like environment to adapt and grow in. Like, seriously, have we not heard about Darwin’s Theory of Evolution? Why couldn’t there be intelligent life on Uranus? Or on Gliese 581 e? We don’t know! We haven’t been there yet.
- My favorite food is pizza – I have the mind of a four year old, I know, but it is! Pizza is my weakness. I could eat it forever. Literally forever. Second and third would be Mexican and Italian. I love food. It’s why I’m fat.
- I disappeared for a week – this is not a proud moment in my life. My parents, some family members, and at least one friend freaked the fuck out that I was suddenly gone. It wasn’t something I’d do but I did; I disappeared for a week down to California when I was 19, to visit a friend I’d met online. First off, he’s gay, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone. Second off, if there was going to be a murder, it would not be because either of us planned it. Third off, I’m glad I went, because it was actually a nice vacation from a life I didn’t fully realize fucking sucked at the time. Thank you, depression.
- I am sarcastic – this is so fucking obvious, if you had to take a quiz on me, and didn’t answer sarcastic on any question, you’d fail. I think it goes with being a pessimist, but I haven’t studied it too much. I also like hyperbole. It’s weird. I’m weird. I have no idea what’s going on anymore.
I’m such an interesting person, I know. In four weeks, there will be a test. Bring your pencils.