Whenever you see the color turquoise in a post, it’s safe to assume that, hey, this happened to someone. See this post about some cleaning supplies to learn more! Here’s a ‘cute’ story about some stuff that’s happened recently.
I’ve been dealing with some stuff for a few months now, but bullshit just up and hit the fan recently. Like, yesterday recently. Now, I like to think I’m a cute looking person. I just have a few pounds that need to disappear, but every once in a while, in this dangerous, online world, I manage to find someone who decides he has the hots for me.
Which is GREAT, don’t get me wrong, very self-esteem boosting.
But… There are just some things I’m not comfortable with and being solely used for sexual purposes is one of those. And I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing he wanted from me when he texted me around 1am Monday morning. So when flirting with a good friend of mine backfired on them both, he stormed off, hurt, and I was left to attempt to put back the pieces. Which, evidently, was supposed to mean me being an exhibitionist.
I am not an exhibitionist, sexually or in any other way. Do I make myself clear? I don’t even speak up in groups of two or three other people, that’s how shy I am. Being overweight and self-conscious enough as it is, I wasn’t comfortable with this… idea of taking pictures. No sir. No way.
So I did what I did: I told him I thought we needed to talk. I didn’t understand why he was suddenly interested in me again; why he suddenly thought it was suddenly okay for these things to happen; why he thought that he could say that he felt unwanted, when I was right there; what was I to him?
That was evidently the wrong thing to do.
My words left me in the confrontation and all I could sputter was “WHAT AM I TO YOU”, which was definitely the wrong thing to say. All I wanted to do was try to be grown up and understand why, oh dear god WHY, this was happening. But he turned it around, he made me feel like I was the most horrible person for questioning that some guy out there was interested enough to want to see me in the buff.
You know what I have to say to people like that? Screw you. You have no right to tell me I’m wrong for being cautious. You have no right for making me feel like I’m horrible for not wanting to spread my legs for you, metaphorically speaking, and allowing you to do whatever the hell you want. You have no right assuming I’m okay with this. You have no right when it comes to my body, my heart, and my soul to do this to me. Fuck off and let me move on, which I was doing before a picture of your naked ass showed up on my phone.
Yeah, that’s a fun read. NOT. Some people… I don’t know if some of them intentionally hurt others or if trying to find ways to make themselves feel better about their lot in life, they hurt people. But in my opinion, and I’ll make sure to tell her I said this again, she really does need to move on. Someone like that isn’t worth spending an extra thought on.
So remember: Turquoise is the color of my energy and the color of a story/situation that happened in the real world that will most likely never be covered by the media. (I’m sorry, my friends, but your stories and problems are going to be told from time to time. As are silly 311 jokes.)