Where Did It Go

November 29th, 2012

Dear Time,

Please. Stop. Going. By. So. Fast.

It’s annoying, seriously. It was just January. What are you trying to prove, that now that I’m no longer a child, everything has to fly by? I thought that was supposed to happen when I had children myself!

It cannot be 32 days until 2013, okay. It isn’t allowed. I still have a ton of stuff to do in 2012. I can’t even begin to think about what I’m supposed to be doing when in 2013, when I turn twenty!

So slow the heck down and lemme catch up, alright?


Highly Annoyed Partisan


Word(s) of the Day: Thanksgiving Edition

Evidently I haven’t done a Word(s) of the Day since September. I’m so sorry, guys, I know how you love learning new words from me with added details about my opinions and/or life. Let’s get down to business (to defeat the Huns)!

  • Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
  • Loss:  the state of being deprived of or of being without something that one has had; death, or the fact of being dead
  • Change: to transform or convert
  • Thankful: feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

Those are our words of the day. Now, I know what you must be thinking: “Why did you choose these words? They’re all… small words children learn at the age of six!”

Because, my friends, sometimes a good dictionary definition is a good way to make one realize what the heck a word means. Did you know, that before I used my dear friend dictionary.com, I had just a general concept of the word love? I mean, you don’t really need anything more than that, but hey, now someone can ask me “Hey, what’s the definition of love?” I can say, instead of something along the lines of “Uh… it’s when you love someone?”, this: “It’s when you have a deep affection for someone close to you.” Take that, brain.

I don’t have any nifty sentences, other than: I am thankful for the love of my family and friends; but I do have a short tale for the loss.

In 2009, my paternal grandmother passed away, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I felt like a horrible person, because I knew I had treated her badly. But doesn’t everyone feel remorse for that? The following week, I missed an entire week of school, during finals week, no less, because it was a hard blow. I had lost both my grandmas in the course of 13 months. And to be quite honest, I hate traveling to my paternal grandfather’s house because even three years later, I miss her so much. There’s a picture in his dining room of them winning an amount of money from a casino and I wanted to cry, because the holidays just haven’t been the same since A) my family moved and B) she passed away. But I’ve been dealing with this and while it may sound like three years is too long, sometimes it’s not. We all have our own grief patterns.

And for the change: clearly we’re always changing, and I know I have over the past few months. After pulling a stunt like I did in September, it’s kind of hard not to change. I’m also celebrating the visual of my blog (again)! I’m sorry, Elise, but you’ve been a good dragon. You shall be missed and shall most likely be brought back at some point. Until then, au revoir!

Turquoise Is the Color of…

Whenever you see the color turquoise in a post, it’s safe to assume that, hey, this happened to someone. See this post about some cleaning supplies to learn more! Here’s a ‘cute’ story about some stuff that’s happened recently. 

I’ve been dealing with some stuff for a few months now, but bullshit just up and hit the fan recently. Like, yesterday recently. Now, I like to think I’m a cute looking person. I just have a few pounds that need to disappear, but every once in a while, in this dangerous, online world, I manage to find someone who decides he has the hots for me.

Which is GREAT, don’t get me wrong, very self-esteem boosting.

But… There are just some things I’m not comfortable with and being solely used for sexual purposes is one of those. And I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing he wanted from me when he texted me around 1am Monday morning. So when flirting with a good friend of mine backfired on them both, he stormed off, hurt, and I was left to attempt to put back the pieces. Which, evidently, was supposed to mean me being an exhibitionist.

I am not an exhibitionist, sexually or in any other way. Do I make myself clear? I don’t even speak up in groups of two or three other people, that’s how shy I am. Being overweight and self-conscious enough as it is, I wasn’t comfortable with this… idea of taking pictures. No sir. No way. 

So I did what I did: I told him I thought we needed to talk. I didn’t understand why he was suddenly interested in me again; why he suddenly thought it was suddenly okay for these things to happen; why he thought that he could say that he felt unwanted, when I was right there; what was I to him? 

That was evidently the wrong thing to do. 

My words left me in the confrontation and all I could sputter was “WHAT AM I TO YOU”, which was definitely the wrong thing to say. All I wanted to do was try to be grown up and understand why, oh dear god WHY, this was happening. But he turned it around, he made me feel like I was the most horrible person for questioning that some guy out there was interested enough to want to see me in the buff. 

You know what I have to say to people like that? Screw you. You have no right to tell me I’m wrong for being cautious. You have no right for making me feel like I’m horrible for not wanting to spread my legs for you, metaphorically speaking, and allowing you to do whatever the hell you want. You have no right assuming I’m okay with this. You have no right when it comes to my body, my heart, and my soul to do this to me. Fuck off and let me move on, which I was doing before a picture of your naked ass showed up on my phone.

Yeah, that’s a fun read. NOT. Some people… I don’t know if some of them intentionally hurt others or if trying to find ways to make themselves feel better about their lot in life, they hurt people. But in my opinion, and I’ll make sure to tell her I said this again, she really does need to move on. Someone like that isn’t worth spending an extra thought on. 

So remember: Turquoise is the color of my energy and the color of a story/situation that happened in the real world that will most likely never be covered by the media. (I’m sorry, my friends, but your stories and problems are going to be told from time to time. As are silly 311 jokes.)

Uhm, Excuse Me? What Do You Think You’re Doing?

As you have probably all heard by now, there are a total of thirty-four states petitioning to secede from the Union. At the moment. As in, we very well could see more deciding “Hey, we don’t want to be left out by not getting out! LET’S SECEDE!” And just so you know, it’s totally not my style to blog about two political issues in succession.

Thirty-four states. Make that 37.

But that’s over half the United States. That’s quite a few unhappy people bitching about the current state of the federal government. And you know what? I don’t blame them. But is it because Obama was re-elected and Romney lost, or is it because people actually realize how shitty our government is?

I’m betting it’s the prior. People, Romney was not a good fit. And trust me, I don’t like Obama that much, but he’s better than Romney.

So now the questions are: if the state government of Texas, who currently (at the time of this posting) has over 84,200 signatures and counting, decided to listen to this petition and they began drafting a legitimate request to secede, how many other states would start their own? Is this the start of a revolution that has been pending for years? Are we going to see a change in our current federal government?

I, for one, still support the idea of Cascadia. For all you people who’re just confused and/or from Washington, it is compromised of the land now called: Oregon, Washington, and part of, if not all of, British  Colombia. But would separate countries now be a good idea? What potential problems could we face should a handful of states be allowed to secede? Which we know they won’t be, but just what would be the dangers of a new country that just came off of the United States of America?

On the Eve of the Rest of Our Lives

Is that too dramatic? Sorry. It certainly feels like the eve of the rest of our lives. So do y’all know what tomorrow is? It’s the first Tuesday of November of a Presidential election year, the summer Olympics, and a leap year. Has anyone else noticed how all three of these events all occur in the same year? I mean, seriously. What were our Founding Fathers planning?

Tomorrow is the official voting day in the US of A. We will not only be voting for the president, but we will be voting for state and federal level officials as well as measures/laws and the like. My guild master said it perfectly on Facebook today:

This is a friendly reminder for everyone who is a citizen of the United States and is able to vote, to, well, VOTE. I don’t understand why people don’t, considering this is basically the fate of the entire. Fucking. Country. In. Our. Hands. “It doesn’t affect me. Why should I vote?”

Because, idiot, it does affect you. It will affect everything from your health care to your taxes to your very social life. If you do not vote, and I mean it when I say this, you are not worth spending millions of dollars on. Do you understand? Yes, politicians are fucking idiots, we know that, and we know that all of them are in it for their personal gain. But at least you get to say, about the candidate(s) who fits the bill best to you, I voted for him. I am proud to be an American and I think he represents us well. Hell, people, you have a fucking chance to make MARIJUANA LEGAL. BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY WITH YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS, THINKING THAT THE GOVERNMENT IN NO WAY AFFECTS YOU. Well guess what. It does. Suck it up and vote.

Now that little rant is over….

Because there was that (illegal) fiasco of corporations telling workers that if Obama won, there may be downsizing, I had this conversation with my guild master:

I couldn’t resist, considering he’s a Satan Romney supporter. He has asked if I thought I made the right decision(s) when I voted. And yes, I did say “yer”. I like to say it when I want to sound like a drunken Dwarf. Now look at those pretty trees in the background.

Nikolai Elliot James – Part 2

Alright, here’s some more. I literally have nothing else to say than how much I seriously frickin’ hate fall. The only good thing is the pretty leaves, otherwise, this stupid ass season can go jump in a fiery pit of doom. I’ve been considering Lillian’s suggestion that I have too much detail. I’m just kinda sitting here like “…Too much detail? I never have ENOUGH detail! What is this crazy person talking about?” But I’ll try to steer away from it for part 3. (It seriously didn’t happen in this next part, but I had written this before I posted part 1. WHATEVER.)

…Unless you’re the whore for one of the District mayors, like my mother is. I don’t quite understand what happened, but after my father was torn to pieces, my mother sided with Mizu. I fought her on it; in fact, I physically attacked the demon, trying to claw those cold, blue eyes of his out of his ugly face. But one boy isn’t enough against one of hell’s spawn. He threw me against the wall and I heard a crunch, but at the time I didn’t care what it was. If my mother wasn’t go to avenge my father, I would. So I attacked again and just as quickly was thrown back. As Mizu raised his hand to rip me apart, my mother screamed, “No, not our son!” The demon paused, glaring at me once before turning to the gibbering, sobbing woman. He said something to her and they walked out of the room, not even bothering to give me a second glance. For an eternity, it felt like, I sat in pain. I was pretty sure a leg was broken along with a rib or two. They came back later and my mother was radiant. Mizu spoke to me for the first time, in a deep, growly voice with an accent unknown to me, “Get up, boy.” When I didn’t respond or stand, he dropped onto his heels and slapped me, raking his jagged nails across my face. I spat at him. He turned to look back at my mother and she shook her head. He had let out a low growl and looked at me. The bastard examined my leg, decided he could set it himself, and ‘fixed’ it. The pain was too great to withstand and I fainted. It may have also been partly due to the shock of what the hell had just happened overall.

My mother is a demon’s slut and I live in the biggest, richest district of New Chicago. I am surrounded by advances in technology mankind never thought we’d see for another hundred years, maybe more. Just about any and everything that anyone has ever been thought up has been modified, adapted, changed, transformed, revised, and improved. But even being the head honcho’s lap dog doesn’t mean I have the latest model of the new whatever. Well, she does, but I’m starting to wonder if she’s even truly the one who pushed me from her womb. She knows the demonic language too well and too quickly did she jump into his bed. But even if she isn’t my mother, she has raised me for the past, oh, I don’t know, eighteen years. I think I deserve a little something, especially since I’ve had to put up with an asshole like Mizu.

I stab my pencil into my desk, frustrated. Of all the stupid things that could happen, I had hit the jackpot. If anything could go worse, it’d be that my friend, Jordan, would get caught. Most everyone who tries to escape is caught. I don’t know what goes on between the time the human runs and their execution, but whenever there’s a hanging, the victim is bruised and looks like they went through medieval torture instruments.  Hamburger meat, we call them. Hamburger is what they become, considering what demons highly enjoy eating. It doesn’t matter what district you come from, there’s always the chance that you will become the next meal for some starving monstrosity. And this is exactly the mess that Jordan has gotten himself into. He’s always been hotheaded, brash, carefree, and that’s what I like about him. While I’m the type who sits in the corner, brooding over lemons life has handed me, he’s on the dance floor, convincing girls he’s the best thing to happen to this planet, creating lemonade. I suppose it’s the broodiness that attracts the girls, if they’re into that type. Though, with the totalitarian government in place, most would go for Jordan over me any day. Especially when you factor in who my current provider is.

Because of Jordan’s preference to get into trouble and do irrational idiotic things, I always have to bail him out. Not that I mind, usually. This, however, this is by far the worst thing that he could possibly decide to do. And how the hell do I pull strings to make sure an escapist doesn’t have an execution? Or a public one at least to give hope to his family, that he successfully escaped. There’s not much I can do. I angrily grind the pencil on the letter I’ve just received, having no idea as to how this is going to happen. The penalty for being caught is death. Maybe I can reach him before he leaves. According to the note, he would be leaving in about five minutes. Five minutes to get to district Eight, five minutes to get through different gang territories, where if I get caught, I’m as dead as the people who became meals trying to run away, five minutes to travel three miles. This is bullshit. For once, I wish Jordan would just think instead of do…