Nikolai Elliot James – A Work in Progress

Because I refuse to post 27 1/2 pages from the first story I let you have a peak at, I’m posting something else. No one wants to read a huge ass blog post that contains 27 1/2 pages that need to be reviewed, redone, and probably deleted all together. This is my post Apocalyptic attempt that’s actually not that bad. I think I prefer writing from a broody male perspective than a broody female perspective. Maybe, we’ll see. The hardest part is wondering if I’m going to do the homosexual population any justice from Nikolai’s PoV. I probably won’t. So here it is, the thing I’m posting because I am exhausted and can’t think of anything else! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

The world is always changing: wars, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, famine, human errors. But in our little corner of the universe, nothing has ever been on the scale of the Apocalypse. It had been any other Christmas day; well, almost. We had been at war for almost a year and this war is what led up to the event that changed our everyday lives. We called it the Oil War. The Oil War had been raging for years, but this year was full-out war, in the public eye. No one quite knows what brought it out into the open, but in January, fighting broke out. Simple skirmishes between the United States and Saudi Arabia, then other countries chose sides and the fighting grew. For years, it was found out, that Saudi Arabia had been hoarding oil and driving up prices to make a profit. By late March, bombs were going off. Thousands, perhaps millions, died, because who expected anyone to need an underground bomb shelter? In July, we were invading each other, killing soldiers and civilians, without discretion. If you weren’t on their side, you were dead. And if you thought society morals still held with the soldiers, you thought wrong. They began to pillage and rape, destroying the very idea that humans in the twenty-first century are supposed to be civil. But it all came to a dramatic conclusion late on December twenty-forth, when the fight for supremacy ended and the fight for survival began. Every household was underground, gifts set aside under the tree. Those who weren’t had died in the blasts. Radiation and smoke choked the air, a faint green tint to everything. Most of us wore government issued gas masks, to filter the tainted air. We could feel the sediment around us move as each nuclear bomb went off. It didn’t matter where it was, the quakes were so strong. We huddled together, humans and animals trying to stay safe in an environment no longer welcoming us.

And then we learned what the shaking truly was. We thought our nuclear war was hell, but we had no idea. They burst through the walls, manipulating the tiny fissures in the stone and concrete, widening them. Beastly, ghastly things that dripped malicious intent and that ripped us apart. We never stood a chance, not with our forces spread so thin, not with the beatings we had just delivered to each other. And they poured onto the Earth’s crust in droves, destroying what was left. Claws, fangs, spines, horns, oozing pores; the things all looked grotesque in one way or another and the worst part was that most of them were incredibly smart. Especially the ones that looked the most human; they quickly established their dominance over the others. Any that were too stupid to rely on anything but brute strength were quickly killed by the others. Humans hid as best they could, but it was no use. Mankind was quickly conquered; so fast, it all seems hazy. We’ve been herded into cities built by the demons and there we’ll stay. Some humans, if they show enough cunning and evil, become puppets; commanders, they’re called. They just lead gangs of human soldiers for their demon overlords. It’s city versus city and even that’s simplified into district versus district.

My mother and I were the only ones of my family to survive, that we know of. The demon that burst through looked like a dapper older gentleman; the one thing setting him apart were the cliché hoof-like feet and horns. And his eyes; physically, nothing differed from a human’s eye, but the malignant evilness chilled us to the bones. It’s been said that just looking at an image of a serial killer, you can sense the soullessness within. With this demon, I experienced that first hand. You’d think all demons would have the same amount of bad intent, but it’s not true. It differs from demon to demon, and some actually seem to have some type of heart. I’ve been in the company of many demons by now, and none give off the feeling that Mizu does: a cold, seething hatred that gives off the impression that he’ll destroy anyone and anything that bars his way in cold blood. Mizu is the true essence of what humans believe a demon is.

We live in the city of New Chicago. That’s what the humans call it, since we like naming things after other, older things. We’re not even within a thousand miles of the old Chicago. I think we’re near Albuquerque. We might even live on top of the ruins, but it’s hard to say, considering New Chicago was literally built over a huge bomb crater. That was the demons’ idea; the ones in charge of this fair city thought that if they built it over the large crater, defending it could be ten times easier. More like they’re keeping us in. We can leave, but it’s not worth it. First, we have to cross the crater, which is filled with some kind of green, bubbling acidic liquid. After that, well, I assume they send hunters out looking for you and if you manage to evade those, you’re going to end up dying to the elements or rogue demonic nomads. So yeah, everyone is pretty much living the dream now. Humans are food, mobsters, or carnal pleasure. Life couldn’t get more fantastic…

More to come, because I’m actually proud of this one.


4 thoughts on “Nikolai Elliot James – A Work in Progress

  1. Wow, kudos to you for even getting some part of it done!

    I’m in no position to critique or review but I will offer my two cents (because I can… and because we’re not COMPLETE strangers 😉 ). You’ve definitely intrigued me with this beginning which is a good thing. One thing I’d be careful of is offering too much information and description to the reader at once. Otherwise, carry on! 🙂

    • I’m pretty sure this is a first… I’ve always felt like I’ve never had ENOUGH detail! But thanks for the input! 😀 I’m going to find the middle somehow and when I do… Look out world, here I come with an award winning book!

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