I Will Rip You Apart Before You Even Begin – Preparation for Season Three of Face Off

We wish you a Merry Face Off, We wish you a Merry Face off, We wish you a Merry Face Off, and a Friendly Betting War

So last week I told you I’d be reviewing the new season of Face Off. I hold true to that promise because let’s be honest, Face Off is pretty goddamn awesome. We are literally hours away from the premiere of season 3. To begin, I’m gonna do two things: “introduce” the contestants (more like give you a picture, give you some information and be judgmental. Sounds good) and open a poll to who you think is going home first. Yes, this requires you to be biased, to use what little information you have against them, and say “I’m betting so many points that YOU go home FIRST.”

THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN. MUAHAHAHA.

This also means that, because I fully expect someone to be eliminated tonight, no one is going to be eliminated. Of course. Let’s get started, shall we?

Alana Rose Schiro is the youngest contestant on Face Off this season. Her forte is sculpting, and I’m trying to figure out if her hair is that natural color or not. I don’t think it is, because her eyebrows look funny.

C.C. Childs, who’s full name is not one I know how to spell nor pronounce, works as a special effects make up artist. Her specialty is character creation and beauty.

Derek Garcia is up for some tough competition. Ya know why? Because his fraternal twin brother, Eric, is competing, too. That’s frickin’ awesome. Derek is a freelance tattoo artist. (What does that even mean? Does he go around in a van offering free tattoos of Mexican drinking worms? hint: that’s a reference). His forte is airbrushing, painting, sculpting, and sketching. Which is why he’s a tattoo artist.

His brother, Eric, is a freelance make-up artist and is skilled at airbrushing, application, and sketching. I’ll most likely vote for him each week simply because I think he’s kinda hot. So sue me. (Please don’t, I’m poor.)

Jason Milani is also freelance, a special effects make-up artist. His expertise is horror and mold making. Or maybe it’s horror mold making. I don’t know, there’s a slash there. It could mean anything.

Laura Tyler is another freelance make-up artist. How many of these people are freelance? Goodness. Anyway, she’s pretty good at prosthetic application, sculpting, airbrushing, and painting.

Nicole Chilelli is that girl you see who has good fashion till you look at her head. I don’t have anything against colored hair, but that’s a little too much pink for me. Luckily, she can pull it off. Not too many can. Her expertise is in creatures, sculpting, and design.

Rod Maxwell is the eldest in this season. The first season, the 40-year-old won, and he was the eldest. Second season, nope, he didn’t. We’ll see how good this old fart is, seeing how he’s skilled in special effects prosthetics.

Roy Wooley is the second eldest, just a year younger than Rod, and HE, too, is freelance. Oh my god. Okay, we can deal with all the freelance, we can. Roy’s pretty damn good with sculpting, prosthetics, airbrushing, and fabrication.

Sarah Elizabeth Miller (we found your last name, missy, there’s no use hiding from the interwebz), is NOT freelance, and she works as a corporate administrator somewhere and as a special effects make-up artist. She’s skilled in character creation, prosthetics, sculpting, foam latex, and fabrication.

And last of all, we have Tommy Pietch. He’s a special effects make-up artist and is good at sculpting, foam latex, and character design.

Here’s a poll to see who goes home first. Dundundun.

And now some pretty pictures of the contestants. Which I got from Google Images because the site wouldn’t allow me to take the pictures from there. Buttfaces. If you wanna bet, here’s 11 points. One for each contestant. Choose wisely! 😉 Remember, what you want to look at is what they’re good at, and maybe what they do for a job.

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