To The Person Who Told Me I Could Only Have One Best Friend: F*** You

You remember that little ass in elementary or middle school who would inform you, quite loudly, of any number of things, because he’s clearly misinformed (it would be impolite to call him stupid, but he is) about life in general and his parents are crappy parents or are just as misinformed as him? And you really wanted to slap him for being so misinformed, but you knew that if you did, you’d get in trouble for whatever? But you just wanted to so badly because that misinformed little poophead really was in need of some major re-informing. With your foot up his ass.

Yeah, I remember the little shit, too. And trust me, it is not limited to one gender.

When I think of a best friend, I think of someone who I can count on, who’ll be there for me no matter what, and when crazy shit goes down, we’re in it together. Oh, and can coax me out of my shell. Definitely that.

I have four best friends. Yes, four. And I love them all dearly. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. Go crazy? Probably. But my issue is that I am literally the worst frickin’ person ever when it comes to keeping in touch. Hell, one of them lives in the same town as I do, and I don’t even have the decency to get in touch on a more regular basis. It helped, too, that I didn’t have my license. But that’s no excuse. I am a horrible person. While I sit at home smacking my head against the wall for being an incredibly stupid person for not getting my license and allowing myself the money-bought freedom of a license, my friends are off GROWING AND BECOMING INCREDIBLE.

Five words describing each of them. I’ll explain one or two of the words I’ve chosen, don’t worry, you’ll understand. And know why I love these four people so much.


  1. Hysterical
  2. Artistic
  4. Jewish
  5. Bows


  1. Asian
  2. Sassy
  3. Bolin
  4. Mage
  5. Food


  1. Busy
  2. Animals
  3. Friendly
  4. Headstrong
  5. Nurse


  1. Blonde
  2. Inked
  3. Buttons
  4. Teeth
  5. Hobbs

ISN’T IT A BEAUTIFUL JUMBLE OF WORDS?! YAY! Alright, now a little explanation.

Jo’s family is like, the only Jewish family in Redmond. And she always has a hair-bow, no matter what. I once stole her big blue bow and had it for weeks till she made me give it back (I actually lost it at one point. I couldn’t find it a while). She is engaged to be married and her wedding shall commence in four days. Four days.

Justin is that sassy gay friend every girl wishes she had to take shopping. But not to the extreme. I don’t know how to perfectly explain his sassiness. He also once gave me a description of his perfect guy, and when I asked why, he said “Bolin.” (Legend of Korra, people!) Nothing more needed to  be said. He also plays WoW, therefore, the mage.

Torie… She’s always doing something, no matter what. For most of the summer, she was in Virginia, then she came home for camp, brought her college friend Dara with her, and went off again. She does not know how to sit still, until she comes to my house. She’s also that person that attracts people like flies to honey. She is also (figuratively) a donkey. I kid you not. If she gets something in her head, she’ll not back down and she’ll work at it until either she succeeds or… well, I don’t think she’s quite failed at something yet.

Chrissy. She’s actually brunette, but she acts like a blonde. She pronounces buttons ‘bu’ons’ (buh – uns). She’s always wanted to become a dentist. I have no idea why. I hate the dentist. As a profession. I don’t want people in my mouth, and I certainly don’t want to be in someone’s mouth, stabbing them with pointy objects. She’s also one of those people who have to have tattoos. I mean, I want one, but I can’t just go willy-nilly get one (not that she does). Hobbs was one of her cats. A 40lb cat. Here’s a picture of me from before I moved with him on my lap.

RIP Hobbs, and that I look tons different from I did in 2009 today.

Oh my gosh, I released a picture of myself. From three years ago. Everyone, calm down, the world has not come to an end as of yet. And tah-dah, my four best friends in a nutshell.

So, readers, I’ve got a challenge for you, and that’s to describe not yourself, but your best friend(s) in five words, as well as what best friend means to you.


6 thoughts on “To The Person Who Told Me I Could Only Have One Best Friend: F*** You

  1. You know, I think I might just take you up on that challenge. Been wanting to do something like that for awhile but never found a good reason to. Which is stupid of course, because why would you need a reason, right? 🙂

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